You know what? I am so sick of the moaning and whining and how much everyone hates everything (I know I am one of those people, but hey everyone needs a day off). So I am going to tell you about my day, the best day ever……………………….
Lockdown has taught me many things (I cannot walk past food, I actually NEED a bottle of wine on a Friday, and my family are completely bonkers) but one of the main things it has taught me is how fortunate I am, I have my health, a roof over my bed, food in belly (ample amounts) and a whole lotta love surrounding me. Don’t get me wrong Lockdown was not a bed of roses (who would have thought that the noise of someone breathing could be enough to send you into a king kong rage and don’t get me started on how sensitive I can get over a dirty dishwasher) but all in all, we have had a pretty good lockdown.
To all the parents of under 5s I salute you….. we have teenagers, so as long as they are fed and the wi-fi works, we were free to enjoy our wine and Netflix (I know you hate me, you want to scrape my eyes out and if only you didn’t have a child attached to your leg, you would give me a good kick in the naughties), the only aggravation we had was when they had a three day marathon on grand theft auto (yes I am that parent, get over yourself!!). But the thought of having to steer one or more toddlers through lockdown was enough to drive me back to the drink cabinet. So before I go any further, could all the parents of under 10s, please stand up and take a bow, you done it, you may have cried into your cornflakes, contemplated shooting Joe Wicks and maybe even didn’t get out of your PJs for a solid three days, but you done it…………………. You steered those little hyper, CONSTANTLY HUNGRY AND BORED AND ALLERGIC TO HOME SCHOOLING LITTE DEMONS THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE……….You, my wonderful, human beings, deserve that wine/chocolate cake/amazon shopping binge, so go fill your boots……
Now, I digress, back to my new awe filled self….. During lockdown I meditated daily via the ‘calm’ app. I also had a weekly meditation class with my good friend and fellow photographer Annette Burke (Bodytap, go check it out, fantastic). This meditation did not change my life, nor make me thinner, more popular or bring me oddles of wealth. But it did give me the power to do one extra special thing…….. stop, think and accept (actually thats three but I’m dumb).
I had a meditation class the other night, which was like something from a National Lampoons movie. I was on zoom and my ADHD teenager was having a full on meltdown, my husband had gone for a run (or drink wine on a park bench, who knows?) and I was in the house on my own with this demon. Now to those parents of ADHDers you are totally gonna understand what the meltdown entails, to those parents without, it is like trying to calm a bull on ectasy who has decided to trash your parents house while they sleep. The human mind being what it is means that you will always remain hopeful that peace will win, and to that extent you will try to carry on with ‘life as normal’ (which in my case meant sitting on a zoom meeting smiling). Reality had other ideas, ignoring this bull only makes it more angry and anything you do (and I mean anything, like trying to understand, shouting, or even looking at them the wrong way) will result in a deeper rage, so I held out as long as I could, until I heard the inevitable smash, thankfully the smash peaked the meltdown (the glass jug didnt fair well out of it though!) and I had to leave my lovely calm surroundings of my meditative zoom class to go and clean up glass, accept apologies and withhold the desire to headbutt the screaming teenager who was so sorry for being such a horrible person.
I popped back onto zoom for 2 mins to try and get back to my zen (I know, what was I thinking?) only to have my husband burst through the door sweating profusely and singing U2 at the top of his voice (why do I not do these meetings in the attic/garage or park bench?). I was holding out for the best bit of the meditation which is when we get to ‘relax’ for half an hour and listen to music and let your mind go where it needs to, at this point I was seriously concerned for my family as I was pretty sure that my mind was going to go to the tool shed for a hammer to hit Bono and his teenage side kick in the head. However (and here is where it gets really interesting) I was able to leave my now guilt ridden teenager in the capable hands of my husband (who was either pissed from a bottle of wine on a park bench or high on his running endorphins) and actually get back to a wonderful meditation which had me relaxed, revived and ready to accept apologies after a mere 30 mins.
So, with my new found mindfulness I am now able to appreciate the simple things in life (actually thats bullshit, when you have a mind as simple as mine, electricity can trip you out for days) and so when I woke this morning to a happy teenager, and a sunny day, I knew I was onto a winner. All I need now is a confirmed appointment with a hairdresser and beautician and I am sweeet.
Peace out……………