DOING YOUR ACCOUNTS

January 27, 2016

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Its that time of year again, when I must face up to reality, I’m fat, addicted to wine and I will do ANYTHING to avoid doing my accounts.  I have carried them round all month, like a precious little baby, I bring them everywhere, to the school gates, to the shops and even to the pub!!! I place them ever so gently down beside me and just when I am about to start, something happens, so far this month:

I have spoken to every parent, child and dog at the school gates, I have got on first name terms with strangers in the cafe and all of a sudden,   I really do want to know EVERY ingredient in my muffin (and where the coffee originated from/how long the cafe has been open and hell yes, tell me all about your divorce).  But after being barred from a number of establishments (It appears my marital advice was not welcome) I have decided to sit down at home and do them……… and guess what?? I AM WRITING THIS BLOG!!!!

On the plus side, my house and office have never been cleaner and so far this month, I have done the following……………..

  1. Offered to put away all the christmas decorations (alphabetically and chronologically colour coded)
  2. Kids homework’s – No more, putting the pencil in my left hand while drinking a glass of wine at 11 at night.  No sir, not for me, I have corrected more spellings, read more books and even coloured in with my children this month, than I have in my entire mummy life.
  3. Lunches – It’s home made bread, fresh fruit smoothies and home made buns which greet my children every day at lunchtime.  I am cooking up a storm in the kitchen and the longer the recipe, the more excited I get, anything to keep me away from my desk. Don’t like your dinner? no problem, I’ll make another one (I am so gonna suffer next month)
  4. Cleaned my shower with a toothbrush- You know those gritty little bits of dirt that get lodged in the corner of your shower? well they are all gone……… I have a bathroom Kim and Aggie would be proud of.  Come to think of it, the tiles might need re grouted………………..
  5. Ironed – I have never ironed as much in my life.  Tea towels, dish clothes, even the dogs lead….. All need to be done, very important. Might even take all the socks from the drawers and iron them.
  6. Alphabetically labelled my medicine cabinet – Everything is where it should be and after all January is the time of year for colds and flu.
  7. Colour coded my knicker drawer – The only time of year my underwear matches
  8. Tried to learn how to knit (lasted an hour),  speak spanish (half an hour), I have even watched a you tube tutorial on drones (WTF????)
  9. Got myself on ebays most wanted buyers list, I have purchased everything from a broken bowl (99p) to a manual for the drone (got to 2nd page)
  10. Played hide and seek with the kids………any kid (apparently Im not welcome back at the park)

But what can I do?, I am a self confessed account dodger.  I am sure it should be a recognised disease and they should have loads of workshops (in January) to help you through it.  But as they say owning up is the first step to recovery, the second???? I am sure it is having the cleanest house in the neighbourhood……………………….